Just an Envelope: Streetchildren in the Metro

It is not uncommon to see children begging for money in jeepneys. Little kids covered in grime and dirt risked their safety by hopping in moving jeepneys to distribute envelopes. Then they would silently sit on the floor of the jeep waiting for the passengers to give them some coins. Afterwards, these children would collect their envelopes then hop out of the jeep. This is without minding the vehicles outside that can overrun or hit them. All for some coins!

kid begging on a jeep

Since I am a regular jeepney rider, I have often seen these kinds of kids. One of these jeepney rides struck me to the heart. A small kid hopped in and distributed envelopes. Then a slightly bigger kid hopped at the back portion of the jeep. After the small kid get some coins, I heard the big kid said "Akin yang mga sobre na yan!."

The little kid answered, "Hindi akin 'tong mga sobre. Sobre ko to eh."

The bigger kid looked at him angrily, "Lagot ka lang mamaya. Akin yang mga yan."

The little kid stuck to his guns, "Akin to. Sobre ko to. Bilangin mo pa."

Then the big kid stared threateningly at the small kid until they jumped out of the jeep.

For goodness's sake, it was just an envelope! A white paper that costs less than P1. But at the same time, I know that those envelopes is their life. These kids only have those thin crumpled white papers that costs less than P1 to their names. They have nothing except for those envelopes. I wonder how desperate these kids are to hold on to just an envelope. I wonder how irresponsible their parents are to ask their depend on just an envelope. I wonder how indifferent I have become to ignore a plea of help with "just an envelope'?

Photo Credit: http://wn.com/begging

The Test of Waiting

I have always been mobile- going from one place to another to accomplish tasks, to achieve something and just to be there. I am used to a hectic lifestyle. Waiting for me is a sin. Waiting is time lost. Waiting is unproductivity. Even if I am waiting in lines and in queues, my mind swirls with ideas about how can I go about my task. Botton line is, I have to be moving. I have to be in action. I just have to be doing something. I just have to be somewhere.

But God has tested my patience lately. I have no specific place to go yet. I have nothing specific to do yet. I should just be still and wait for him to tell me, "This is your next step." I believe He is asking me to "wait for him." I am so used in planning my life and mapping my course of action. But at this point of my life, God is saying, "Let me plan your life and see how great my plan is for you." And boy, it is not easy. I want to to seize back the reins of my life and tell God to mind his business. But for some reason, I just know that I just have to leave everything to him now. You may ask, how did I know. I just know. For some reason, I just know that it is my season of waiting.

And this is an encouragement for those who are waiting just like me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHztEiKko0E

While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

For as the Lord says:

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint"(Isaiah 40:31)

Have a blessed waiting time!

Taking Another Leap

It is ironic that just less than a month ago, I was full of hope and brimming with expectations. A lot of opportunities are coming my way which I had the luxury to turn down. I was so confident that I can have a job after I finished my contract. Ever since I decided to resign from the teaching post I held for three years, I spent a lot of times wondering what will the next thing for me. I turned down a job offer in China so I can finish the school year in my current school. I was so sure another job will be offered to me soon. But then, it did not come as I expected. In less than a week from now, I will be jobless.

Countless times I have pondered to retract my resignation. I am so afraid to go out of the portals of the "known" world. I am in fear of not knowing what will be my next step. I want to have some sense of direction. But as much as I fear the unknown, I also fear of staying in my comfort zone. I don't like to stay knowing that my heart is longing to go to another place, to do another thing. It terrifies me to venture into the limbo but I know it will kill me to stay grounded at the same spot just because of fear.

PHOTO CREDIT: http://playfulemily.blogspot.com/

In a matter of days, I won't be able to walk the halls of the school where I started my teaching career. In a matter of days, I will not be able to talk to the friends I have gained. In a matter of days, I will be waiting until I am given the chance again to teach- in another place. All the assurance I can get is that, my God brings his children from glory to glory. I am one of his children. He will surely bring me from glory to glory. But I have to take that leap of faith- that leap of leaving my comfort zone towards a higher and fertile ground.

World's End

Earthquake in NZ, tsunami in Japan, nuclear threats, floods in Leyte and endless war in the Middle East. Just watching the horrifying videos and photos of these disasters makes one think that perhaps it is the world's end. Armageddon is not only a Biblical prophecy. Even Science has long -ago predicted that indeed our planet has an ending.

photo credit:http://www.newsanddesignphotography.com/search/tsunami-jepang

I'm blessed not to be involved with any of these disasters but not being a victim does not make me feel any better. I guess, even for those like me, you don't feel any good too. I wonder how much worse do the victims feel. The main thing is that- all of the people of the world share the same feelings of loss and tragedy. And, I believe, is the good side of it all .

Because of these calamities, we are reminded of our humanity and mortality. Because we cannot do anything with nature, we are reminded that we are just humans- frail, minute and still fighting to survive after 2 millennia. But at the same time, because we are humans, we can do something to extend help, to make things better, to learn from the experience.

A Lesson from Fireworks- Part 1

The holiday season that is just about to end has been peppered with fireworks display. The Christmas season and New Year's celebration seem to be more perfect with fireworks. But personally, I'm not willing to spend on fireworks. On the practical side of it, they are just momentary burst of beauty with no substantial use.

Photo Credit: http://www.hklightbox.com/pic/lunar-new-year-fireworks-display/cny-fireworks-080208-201402.jpg.htm

However, as I was watching the displays during the New Year's eve, it struck me how people stop and look-in awe of such explosive beauty; how people -good or bad- stand in amazement of the grandeur before them without thinking of the cost; how people are filled with sheer joy by just staring at it. And so I realize that people should be have a "firework" moment at least once in their lifetime. A moment in which they will shine at their brightest and make others stand in amazement. In that explosive moment, others are inspired and filled with expectation to see another display.

Bye-Bye to Old Things!

In a few hours, 2010 will be officially part of history. It has been a great year for me but I just don't like the fact that I have no planner yet to welcome 2011. You see I am very much into organizing things. Planning "Things to Do" for the next day is part of my daily routine before sleeping.

I believe that my planner should be a reflection of who I am- chic, light and simple. Back in college, my planner was the Papemelroti recycled planners that costs less than 20 php. Then I switch to Luxe Prints Planners which can only be found at Fully Booked because I have to do more things and plan more activities. Unfortunately, Fully Booked stores do not offer the Luxe Prints Planners anymore. I've searched for it from SM North to Mall of Asia and all possible Fully Booked stores in between. I rummaged through Power Books and even try to find substitutes from National Book Stores. But there's no planner that can match my Luxe Prints Planner. I guess some cosmic entity is trying to tell me that 2010 is over just like your romance with your Luxe planners. Try another brand, another style. Dare to leave your comfort zone. Have a bigger plan with your life!

So I'll give up my search for my perfect planner. I guess I have to do less planning and more living.

In Worship

“Everything is worship if your mind is focused on the present moment.”

                                                                                    - Edda (The Witch of Portobello)

            Being a Christian, I believe that everything I do should be a worship. Before, I thought it’s only when I excel that I worship God so I was bent on being excellent in everything. But it was too tiring so I thought maybe God just wants me to give my best- whether I’m the most excellent or not. So that’s what I did. But there are just times, a lot of times, when I’m simply not my best. And sometimes, my best is too much.

            When I read the passage from Paulo Coelho’s novel, I thought how worship goes in the church. Usually, we sing solemn songs while the worship leader asks us to focus ourselves on God- to thank Him, to think of His grace and mercy, to state our love for Him. And that’s when I realize that when we worship God, we’re simply concentrating ourselves to Him. I’m trying to simply feel His presence and just enjoy singing to worship Him.

So in effect, I should learn how to “live for the moment.” Simply put, I should simply enjoy and be thankful for what I might be doing right now. If I’m eating, I should enjoy eating and not think about what I should do afterwards. If I’m teaching, I should simply enjoy teaching and not think about tasks that I should finish. There’s a time for that when I should be focusing my mind on tasks. And as for the tasks, I should simply be thankful that I have something to do and I have the capacity to do them. Simple as it may sound; it’s actually hard for me to do and maybe for people who have a lot of things in their minds.

            How many bus and jeep rides I had while I’m thinking of home works, of people and of memories without appreciating the view outside? How many times my mind wandered and slept in seminars and lectures which could have been useful for me? How many times have I been distracted while watching not fully enjoying the show? How many times I wished I was in some other place while talking to another person wasting the chance to know the person?  A lot of times. Countless. And in those times, I failed to worship Him simply by not living and enjoying those moments.

            That’s when I also realize that the best moments in my life are those moments when I’m simply enjoying what life has to offer during those times. How can I forget my first kiss? My high school and college graduations? My bonding times with my friends and family? My dates with my special someone? My vacations in beautiful places? I can not forget these things even there may be no pictures to remind me of them. Not only because they are happy moments but because they are the moments when I feel alive.

            And I can’t also forget the moments when I taste failure, sadness and pain; when my grandfather died, when I learned I won’t graduate on time, when I knew the family business failed, when I fought with a trusted friend, when I almost lost him, when I simply shed tears of frustration. These things also made me feel alive- sometimes more alive than the happy ones; because I’m feeling something beyond what the mind can control. I’m simply living in those moments. Somehow, even in those seemingly heartbreaking moments, I’m worshipping Him because I’m acknowledging what He’s allowing me to go through.