Monday, December 20, 2010

In Worship

“Everything is worship if your mind is focused on the present moment.”

                                                                                    - Edda (The Witch of Portobello)

            Being a Christian, I believe that everything I do should be a worship. Before, I thought it’s only when I excel that I worship God so I was bent on being excellent in everything. But it was too tiring so I thought maybe God just wants me to give my best- whether I’m the most excellent or not. So that’s what I did. But there are just times, a lot of times, when I’m simply not my best. And sometimes, my best is too much.
            When I read the passage from Paulo Coelho’s novel, I thought how worship goes in the church. Usually, we sing solemn songs while the worship leader asks us to focus ourselves on God- to thank Him, to think of His grace and mercy, to state our love for Him. And that’s when I realize that when we worship God, we’re simply concentrating ourselves to Him. I’m trying to simply feel His presence and just enjoy singing to worship Him.

So in effect, I should learn how to “live for the moment.” Simply put, I should simply enjoy and be thankful for what I might be doing right now. If I’m eating, I should enjoy eating and not think about what I should do afterwards. If I’m teaching, I should simply enjoy teaching and not think about tasks that I should finish. There’s a time for that when I should be focusing my mind on tasks. And as for the tasks, I should simply be thankful that I have something to do and I have the capacity to do them. Simple as it may sound; it’s actually hard for me to do and maybe for people who have a lot of things in their minds.
            How many bus and jeep rides I had while I’m thinking of home works, of people and of memories without appreciating the view outside? How many times my mind wandered and slept in seminars and lectures which could have been useful for me? How many times have I been distracted while watching not fully enjoying the show? How many times I wished I was in some other place while talking to another person wasting the chance to know the person?  A lot of times. Countless. And in those times, I failed to worship Him simply by not living and enjoying those moments.
            That’s when I also realize that the best moments in my life are those moments when I’m simply enjoying what life has to offer during those times. How can I forget my first kiss? My high school and college graduations? My bonding times with my friends and family? My dates with my special someone? My vacations in beautiful places? I can not forget these things even there may be no pictures to remind me of them. Not only because they are happy moments but because they are the moments when I feel alive.
            And I can’t also forget the moments when I taste failure, sadness and pain; when my grandfather died, when I learned I won’t graduate on time, when I knew the family business failed, when I fought with a trusted friend, when I almost lost him, when I simply shed tears of frustration. These things also made me feel alive- sometimes more alive than the happy ones; because I’m feeling something beyond what the mind can control. I’m simply living in those moments. Somehow, even in those seemingly heartbreaking moments, I’m worshipping Him because I’m acknowledging what He’s allowing me to go through.

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